Saturday, May 31, 2014

UNCLE JESSE VS. UNCLE JESSE

Sometimes a great TV show will come along and name a character the name of a former character from a completely different TV show, this is how we ended up with two Uncle Jesse's. So which Uncle Jesse was better and how did some writer recycle the classic character name of "Uncle Jesse?" I don't know but I'm going to determine which is the BETTER Uncle Jesse!

UNCLE JESSE FROM THE DUKES OF HAZZARD OR UNCLE JESSE FROM FULL HOUSE

AT A GLANCE...
Real Name: Jesse Duke, played by Denver Pyle, already famous from the TV show "The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams." (Grizzly Adams DID have a beard.) Appeared in 149 episodes from 1977-1984 and one reunion show. Lives in fictional Hazzard County Georgia, patriarch of the Duke family and has 4 nephews and 1 niece and no children of his own.


Real Name: Jesse Katsopolis, first season was named Jesse Cochran. (Identity crisis or trying to hide from the law???) played by John Stamos, semi known for his role on daytime TV soap operas. Appeared in 197 episodes from 1987-1995. Lives in San Francisco California, married TV personality Rebecca Donaldson and has 3 nieces and two twin boys. Famous catch phrases: "Watch the hair" and "Have mercy"

The Dukes of Hazzard came first and Uncle Jesse was an old farmer and former ridge runner that was the best driver in the land, which was often disputed by Boss Hogg as he claimed HE was the best driver back in the day. Uncle Jesse was known for making the best moon shine in all of Georgia. He sold it to various people and since this was illegal had his two nephews Bo and Luke Duke deliver it for him. They were caught and Uncle Jesse swore to never make and sell his moon shine again IF the U.S. government let his nephews go free. They did but Bo and Luke were not allowed to use fire arms or leave Hazzard County as part of their probation and there you have THE DUKES OF HAZZARD.

Full House came after the Dukes had gone off the air but the name Uncle Jesse was already very famous from the previous show.  In the first episode Uncle Jesse comes to live with his brother in law as his older sister has just died. Jesse moves into Danny's house mainly to help take care of his grieving family of 3 nieces, D.J. Stephanie, and Michelle. The same day Danny's best friend Joey, moves into the house too making it quite full, hence the show FULL HOUSE.


As we can see, both Uncle Jesse's have big hearts and both take care of their nieces and nephews. Uncle Jesse from Full House has 2 other grown men living in the same home to help him take care of 3 little girls. Uncle Jesse lives alone and takes care of 2 nephews and a niece so the advantage goes to Uncle Jesse Duke.

When it comes to being cool how can you beat playing guitar for a rock-n-roll band, driving a Harley, looking like Elvis, and dating a talk show host??? Seems impossible for an old man to be cooler than that BUT WAIT can you beat it by making and selling illegal alcohol, racing your car through the country side, out running the police, breaking your nephews out of jail constantly, and always doing whats right to fight a corrupt local government even if it means breaking the law and risking your own freedom??? Advantage, Uncle Jesse Duke.

I'm not sure Uncle Jesse from Full House ever drove a car, it always showed him driving his beloved motorcycle and as we know Uncle Jesse from the Dukes of Hazzard had an old beat up white pick-up truck HOWEVER Uncle Jesse Duke sometimes drove the General Lee and THAT is something Jesse Katsopolis could only dream about. Advantage, Uncle Jesse Duke.

We can tell parenting from raising nieces and nephews but Uncle Jesse from Full House had his own children so we can actually tell how he is as a father. He has twin boys, which can be a handful, they are obviously out of control and in one episode Jesse mixes them up and can't tell them apart. We know that, "even baboons can tell their own kids apart." One episode his twins call him a mean daddy. Even so he is STILL a better father because he actually has children......or does he? Did you notice how blond his twins are? Did you notice how Greek Uncle Jesse looks and how dark Rebecca's hair is too? Did you ever notice how blond Joey's hair is and how stupid the twins appear to be? I think Joey fathered those twins with Rebecca when Uncle Jesse wasn't looking.

Uncle Jesse from Full House was clearly the coolest guy on the show but wait, what was that compared to? The world's biggest dork Danny Tanner and the dim-witted Joey Gladstone that couldn't get through one sentence without using some stupid-ass cartoon voice, that was poorly executed I might add. No wonder Jesse seemed so cool to us but sadly a man that moves in with his brother-in-law to "help raise his nieces" but then stays for 9 years, marries and moves his wife into the home, has kids in that home and never moves out is CLEARLY a mooch. He also can't hold down a job. Here's a short list of everything Uncle Jesse has done, pest control, Mr. Egg Head Show, radio show host, Airport Lounge Singer, Ranger Joe Show, owner of the Smash Club, an advertisement company, and through all this he was constantly trying to start his music career. (which never took off btw, unless you count Japan and we don't.)

AMAZING FEATS OF BEING AN UNCLE:

Uncle Jesse Duke delivered many babies in his life including  Bo and Luke Duke. The Dukes of Hazzard show made it to the number 2 television series of the 1980-1981 season, its highest ranking. It had one spin off, a cartoon series, 2 reunion specials, and a remake movie.

Uncle Jesse recorded a Beach Boys song that made it to number one on the Japanese charts. Full House made it to the number 8 television series of 1992, its highest ranking.

STRANGE BUT TRUE: Uncle Jesse Duke was taking care of his nephews and niece because their parents were killed in a car wreck. Uncle Jesse from Full House was taking care of his nieces because his sister, their mother, was killed in a car wreck. 

This one is too close to call. Both uncles did an amazing job at being an uncle and they had very different situations. Although battling the law and armed bad guys seems a bit more serious than battling a child that wants to stay up past her bedtime.......
Uncle Jesse Duke had to raise his whole family by himself with no help from others. He had to fight the corrupt law that had a personal vendetta against him. He had to change his moonshine making ways in order to keep his family safe. He had to keep men away from Daisy Duke which was a job in itself. He had to run his farm to make just enough money every month so his family would have a place to live. I can't count how many times Uncle Jesse had a gun to his head and stared death in the face.

Uncle Jesse Katsopolis had to raise 3 girls with the help of their actual father and another live-in moron. He had to make sure they were in bed at their bed times. He had to sing to them so they could sleep. He had to pack their lunches. He had to take them to school. He constantly had to find new jobs. He had to keep nursing the hope that there WAS hope that his crappy music career would take off and even when it didn't he didn't stop, he just kept singing songs that 65 year olds like. AND after all this stress in his life he has to deal with, DJ COMING HOME WITH AN F ON HER TEST!!!



Full House Uncle Jesse is really falling short. Here are a few near misses that would have given him clear advantages.
Here he is about to kick Steve Urkle's ass. IF he would have, he would have been the winner but he didn't do it. I wish he had. Oh would I have paid to see that.

Here he is challenging Kareem Abdul Jabar to a one on one game of knock-out. He lost after two shots and then again challenged him to a slam-dunk contest. Again he lost.


Here he is pretending to hate Joey as much as I do. But Jesse forgot how bad of an actor he is and I can see right through it.


This is a tough call, both men make good uncles but to be the best what do you have to do?


Sadly Denver Pyle has died always leaving us to wonder what other wisdom he could have given his family.


Each uncle helped their family in their own way. Each uncle raised their family to be the best they could be given their situations. Each uncle was loved by everyone around them. Who was the better uncle? There is no real way to ever know but I do know one thing, ask D.J. Stephanie, Vance, Daisy, Luke, Michelle, Coy, and Bo who the best uncle is, they'll tell you, it's Uncle Jesse.


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